Rush Hour the XMen Way
by therp
Summary: I changed my name (again). And I kinda changed the title too. A parody of Rush Hour staring Remy as Chris Tucker and St. John as Jackie Chan Chapter 7: G-14 Classified!
1. Where is Magneto?

Ok, this is a parody of Rush Hour. I just had this idea one day and so I decided to do it. Oh yeah, and I've got dibs on Rush Hour II too you greedy people. What are you waiting for? Read it.  
  
************************************************************************ Now on with the fic:  
  
Actions  
  
Speaking  
  
Who's speaking  
  
(My usually sarcastic comments) ####################################################################  
  
RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*  
  
A RP film  
  
Produced and directed by The RP  
  
RP does not own Rush Hour or X-Men: Evolution  
  
Starring:  
  
Remy LeBeau  
  
St. John Allerdyce  
  
Eric Lensherr  
  
Rogue  
  
Jamie Madrox  
  
Lance Alvers  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The RP (otherwise known as RP): ok people, get in your places. Ok, lets start. Lights?  
  
Evan: Check.  
  
RP: Camera?  
  
Evan: Check.  
  
RP: Action! ***********************************************************************  
  
People are seen loading cargo at a shipyard. Pietro is smoking on the deck of ship, observing the loading of the ship. We see Sam walking past a crate, and a hand grabs him, and drags him behind the crate. Now we see Ray walking past another crate. A gun points at him. Pietro is seen again leaning on the railing of the ship.  
  
St. John opens a vent right behind Pietro and Roberto and looks around. He points a gun at them.  
  
St. John: (into his walkie-talkie pinned to his shirt) I'm in position, mates, move in.  
  
St. John: (to Pietro this time) Where is Magneto?  
  
Pietro: Magneto? He is everywhere.  
You-want-a-piece-of-me?  
  
St. John: What the hell did you just say?  
  
RP: Cut. Pietro, speak slower.  
  
Pietro: You want a piece of me?  
(long pause)  
Shoot me.  
(even longer pause  
Shoot me!  
  
Pietro pushes Roberto into St. John and runs away.  
  
St. John chases after him, jumping off the boat, and over a crate. The crate in front of him starts to move toward him very fast, with help from Jean's telekinesis. St. John climbs up the crate he just jumped over, and falls back onto the crate that was just pushed into the other crate.  
  
St. John turns over, stands up, and takes off running again. He jumps off the crate, and lands on a crane cab. St. John jumps off, and kicks the driver (who is actually Ray) in the stomach with both feet knocking him out of the cab.  
  
Ray knocks the gun out of St. John's hands and they fight with random kicks and punches over it until St. John pulls out a pair of handcuffs and connects Ray to a crate with them. Then St. John picks up the gun, and is about to hit Ray, but Ray holds up his arm and whimpers.  
  
St. John runs off and Ray is still struggling to get out of the handcuffs. St. John jumps over a crate and points his gun at a nice, white speedboat that is speeding away.  
  
The police arrive behind St. John and lots of policemen get out (most of them Jamies in police uniforms).  
  
St. John: (talking into his walkie-talkie again) Pietro got away.  
  
RP: Annnddd cut! Great job people. Lets get out of here so we can get to the early morning training session with Logan tomorrow morning. ~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~  
  
So did you like it? Hate it? Tell me. I like reviews. I'm not very good with updating, so be patient and wait.  
  
Oh, yes, and I need help. Jamie is playing the part of the little girl, and I need to know what song he should sing in the car. So, if you have any suggestions put it in your review.  
  
Thanks for reading. Bye! ^_^ -RP 


	2. Pyro gets punched!

Ok, first I would like to thank all the reviewers.  
  
The Rogue Witch: thank you for your suggestion, and I agree Jamie is cute.  
  
ME():I have the DVD so the TV people might have cut that part out, anyways, St. John is one of my favorite characters too.^_^  
  
todd fan: than you for reviewing, I feel honored. Anyways this is a great movie and it stars Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan so it's all comedy. Thanks for your suggestion, Barbie Girl would be funny.  
  
pyroluver: don't worry, Remy will be in chapter 3, right after this one.  
  
The Untouchable Rogue: thank you, and here is your next chapter, I will bring in Remy in the next chapter as mentioned above. Thanks for the suggestions, my bro told me to do I Like Big Butts too, oh well, and don't worry bout rambling I do that so much it's not even funny. ^-^  
  
************************************************************************ Now on with the fic:  
  
Actions  
  
Speaking  
  
Who's speaking  
  
(My usually sarcastic comments) ####################################################################  
  
RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*  
  
RP: aright now, is everyone in their places?  
  
Random voices: Yes/ Yeah/ Sure/ uh huh. RP: Good. Long pause and searching noises ah there's the bullhorn. (Real loud) Lights?  
  
Evan: Check.  
  
RP: (still loud) Camera?  
  
Evan: Check.  
  
RP: (really really really LOUD) Action! *********************************************************************** "Australia, last day of British rule" the words on the screen display (A/N: I know Australia was never under British rule, it's supposed to be Hong Kong, but Pyro isn't Chinese so I don't think that would work.)  
  
Camera moves over from window overlooking city of Sydney to a room with a long table and lots of people at it. Magneto at one end and Lance at the other, and the two sides are filled with various others.  
  
Eric (Magneto if you didn't know): "Forgive me Counsel Alvers, but I believe we can ill afford men of your high character, and speaking as a friend who has fought side by side with you for 15 years, I will surely miss the unshakeable (yeah, right) support you have given the Royal Australian Police. So, on behalf of all the Brits, who have carried the shield of Australia, we shall miss you, and wish nothing but happiness as you take up your new post in the United States. Ladies and Gentlemen, Counsel Alvers." The last part he says raising his wine/ champagne glass. (Man he has a long monologue)  
  
Random voices from the people at the table at different times: Counsel Alvers  
  
Lance: Thank you, Eric. Now you know Eric is not going to make this evening easy.  
  
St. John enters the room and wants to talk with Lance.  
  
Lance: Excuse me.  
  
St. John whispers something to Lance, and after a few seconds of long anticipation, Lance thanks St. John and shakes his hand.  
  
Lance: Commander Lesher, I am pleased to leave you and Australia with a special gift tonight. Earlier this evening, Detective Inspector Allerdyce and a special task force have once and for all crushed the Magneto organization, and reclaimed artifacts from over 5000 years of Australia's history.  
  
Clapping  
  
Lance: This is the kind of legacy I dreamed about.  
  
Lance raises his glass in a toast.  
  
Eric is seen raising his glass, and he has a slightly pissed off look on his face.  
  
Eric: Australia forever.  
  
Lance: To Australia, forever. *********************************************************************** St. John is walking down a hallway and is about to walk through a doorway, but suddenly, Jamie comes out from the opposite hall in pajamas (orange with planes on them), and he punches St. John in the stomach. Several more Jamies come out, but they scramble off camera before most everyone notices.  
  
Jamie (in a mad voice): Why didn't you tell me you weren't going with us?  
  
Pyro (I'm getting tired of typing St. John): I was trying to find the right time.  
  
Jamie: When? After I left?  
  
Jamie punches Pyro again; resulting is more Jamies that also run off screen.  
  
Pyro: taking Jamie's hands into his own Jamie, I will miss you very much. You are my best student. Your mother would've been proud. Will you practice your kicks and eye gouges?  
  
Jamie: I won't have any friends in America.  
  
Pyro: taking something out of his pocket everything will be okay, I promise. This is for you.  
  
Then Pyro puts a shark tooth necklace around Jamie's neck.  
  
Jamie: now smiling Boozer, Thank you.  
  
Pyro: That's bONzer.(emphasis on the on)  
  
Jamie: Oh, sorry. bONzer! Thank you!  
  
Pyro: putting his hands on Jamie's shoulders, being careful not to knock a copy out of him, and smiling. Don't worry; America is a very friendly place. ************************************************************************ Oooooo, I left you at a cliffhanger. Not really, but you want the 3rd chapter right. Well I think the first two chapters are kinda boring, but whatever. Anyways next chapter Remy, Blob, and some C-4! Scary!!! Not really, but caution, things will explode.BOOM! See you soon. ^_^ 


	3. Remy and some C4!

Hiya!!! I'm back!!! Oh yeah!!! Today is the day Remy enters!!! Don't you just love me? Oh yeah!!! Anyways, first off I am sorry to say that I will be gone this weekend and I probably won't update until next weekend. I am really sorry, but school is freakin' hard, and I think that the teachers have ganged up on me, plus my English teacher is EVIL!!! Anyways, instead of leaving you with anticipation, and you not being able to have any chapters with Remy for a whole week, I will be nice and let you have one. Here you go, a Remy chapter, and the best part is he gets to explode a car. Yeah!!! And I know you will hate me if I give you a short chapter with nothing in it, so I spent 2 hours on this for you. So you better not not like it. Read on!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I disclaim any ownership to X-Men: Evolution and Rush Hour, I only own myself. ^_^  
  
************************************************************************ Now on with the fic:  
  
Actions  
  
Speaking  
  
Who's speaking  
  
(My usually sarcastic comments) ####################################################################  
  
RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY *$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$  
  
RP: Where is the bullhorn? Sits down in director's chair and hears a loud crunch. Ah, there it is.it's broken!!! Whoever broke my bullhorn will pay!!!  
  
Evan: shouldn't we start the scene?  
  
RP: I don't know do you want to?  
  
Evan: uh, yes!?  
  
RP: OK!!! Lights?  
  
Evan: sounds of electrical tampering are heard. Ray. A little help please?  
  
Ray: Do I have to?  
  
Evan: YEEEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ray: gulp Okay.  
  
RP: I said, lights?  
  
Ray: Check.  
  
Evan: Check!  
  
RP: Camera?  
  
Sabertooth: Grrr, come on you stupid piece of junk. He kicks the camera. Ah, there we go. Check.  
  
Evan: Check!  
  
RP: Annnnnnd, Action!!! ************************************************************************ "America two months later" is what the screen says as we here a car horn beep and we see Remy as he drives a nice black convertible through heavy traffic.  
  
Remy: Stupid fool, get the hell out of my way.  
  
He cuts someone off and yells.  
  
Remy: man are you crazy? Shit!  
  
Random driver: You Moron.  
  
Now Remy is pulling his car into the parking lot of a diner/donut shop. He parks his car right behind Fred, who is leaning against a car wearing sunglasses. Remy, who is also wearing sunglasses, gets out of his car and walks around the back of car and walks over to Fred. Fred takes his glasses off as Remy starts to talk.  
  
Remy: Fred, what's up mon ami?  
  
Fred: You're late.  
  
Remy: Huh!?  
  
Fred: You're Late.  
  
Remy: Remy late!?  
  
Fred: Yeah, you're late.  
  
Remy: You're late mon ami. Remy has been waiting in back of the diner for over an hour man.  
  
Fred: I was in the diner.  
  
Remy: Mon ami, Remy told you, the back of the diner; you think Remy is going to do this shit out front? Mon ami, you crazy?  
  
Fred: I was in the diner, you weren't in the diner.  
  
Remy: Remy said the back of the diner- you know, it don't matter, Remy late, you late- it don't matter. Mon ami, come on let's do this- what's that? Is that a gun? Mon ami out that gun a way, how many people you gonna kill with this shit? stop it mon ami, come on let's do this.  
  
Remy pats Fred's car's trunk's door.  
  
Remy: come on, come on.  
  
Fred: don't be late again.  
  
Remy: Mon ami, Remy won't be late again, Come on. Come on.  
  
Remy pats the trunk door again.  
  
Fred finally opens the trunk of the car door as Remy takes his sunglasses off.  
  
Remy: Well, What do we got here? Ooooooh, that's tight, that's beau, that's nice- what's that?  
  
Fred: That's C-4. (C-4 is a type of explosive that can be made into bombs that go BOOM!!!)  
  
Remy: That's C-4?  
  
Fred: That's C-4.  
  
Remy: Oh, shit.  
  
Fred: What's the problem?  
  
Remy: There ain't no problem, Remy has been looking everywhere for this shit.  
  
Remy turns and hugs Fred.  
  
Remy: Mon ami, how did you find some C-4? You don't know how you make me feel. The Iraqis can't even get this shit.  
  
Screen moves over to a police car in front of the donut shop, and Todd and Kurt get out. (Kurt does have his image inducer on)  
  
Screen moves back to Remy and Fred.  
  
Remy: Where'd you get this from?  
  
Fred: It's a hot ticket.  
  
Screen switches again (what is it and screen switches?) to Kurt and Todd. Kurt gestures to Todd that he thinks something is going down with Remy and Fred.  
  
Remy: You don't know how happy you made Remy, mon ami. You got what I want, I'm gonna get what you want. Come on, let's go get the money, mon ami.  
  
Remy turns around, aiming to walk toward his car, but is interrupted by two policemen.  
  
Kurt: Step away from the car.  
  
Remy: Heeeeeyyyy, officers.  
  
Screen switches (again, uhg!) to Fred, who still has his back towards Remy, Kurt, and Todd. Fred closes the trunk of the car and pulls a gun out of his coat pocket. Behind him, Remy and Kurt talk.  
  
Kurt: Put your hands above your head.  
  
Remy: What's wrong officers?  
  
Kurt: Just do it now.  
  
Remy: There ain't no problem here. What are you messing with Remy and him for?  
  
Suddenly, Fred turns around, grabs Remy by the shoulder with one hand, and with the other points the gun at Remy's head. (Now we all know Remy could take Fred out, but this happens in the movie, so I guess it should happen here.)  
  
Kurt and Todd pull their guns out and point them at Remy and Fred.  
  
Todd: Okay, take it easy, yo. You don't want to do that.  
  
Fred: shaking his head and has a very serious look (Yeah right) Oh, yes I do.  
  
Remy: Oh no, he doesn't officer. He's just playing.  
  
Fred: No, I ain't playing. He turns to look at Remy.  
  
Remy: Yes, he is.  
  
Fred: No, I'm not.  
  
Remy: Yes, he. awwwwww.  
  
Fred: I'm not playing.  
  
Kurt: Drop the gun.  
  
Remy: He's just playing mon ami, we were just talking. Come on, just get back in the car and just leave.  
  
Todd: Can't do that, yo, alright.  
  
Fred: I'm gonna blow his head all over the frigging parking lot, asshole. Get back in the car and get some donuts. (I wish I had some of those right now.)  
  
Remy: See what you did now? You made him mad. Let me just talk to him, alright? Alright?  
  
Suddenly, Remy turns around and sucker punches Fred in the jaw. (I'm cheering! Go Remy!!! Beat Fred's ass!!!)  
  
Remy: Alright, alright. Now everything cool. He's down, the gun's down, now why don't you just get back in the car and just leave.  
  
Todd: Put your hands on your head.  
  
Remy: But everything cool officer.  
  
Todd: do it now.  
  
Remy just makes movements with his arms that they get out of there.  
  
Todd looks over at Kurt and they both do the same questioning glance.  
  
Remy makes more motions.  
  
Fred is coming to his senses, and he picks up his gun. He fires two shots, one hits Kurt in the side, and the other hits Todd in the hand, making him drop his gun. Todd screams his trademark girly scream, and starts to whimper.  
  
Remy rolls over a car with many oofs and ouches. Fred gets into his car, and starts to back out of the parking lot. All the while, Remy is shooting at Fred's car. (he is shooting a gun that has bullets, not flaming cards, even though that would be cool.) Fred backs into the police car.  
  
Remy: to the police officers. Didn't Remy tell you to get in the car?  
  
Fred starts to drive forward out into the street, and Remy shoots a hole in the back left wheel, blowing the tire completely off. The car goes careening off into traffic resulting in numerous accidents. Remy hops over his car to get a clear shot at Fred's car, and he starts to shoot at the car.  
  
Fred: Yelling to Remy. Man, stop it I've got C-4 in the trunk.  
  
Not heading Fred's warning, Remy keeps firing. Fred opens the door of the car and jumps out before Remy shoots one last shot, and the car explodes. BOOM!!! The car explodes trunk-first, lands on its top, and explodes in whole.  
  
Remy: YEAH!!!  
  
Remy does a weird, slightly disturbing dance in the street, before going over to Fred and pointing his gun at Fred.  
  
Remy: Woohoo!!! Fred, guess what mon ami? Remy forgot to tell you, Remy is NOPD. (That is supposed to be New Orleans Police Department. It's supposed to be LAPD for Los Angeles, but hey, New Orleans is where Remy is from so why not?)  
  
Then for emphasis, Remy flips back his jacket to reveal a police shield.  
  
RP: Annndd that's a wrap. Okay people. Lets go home to eat dinner.  
  
************************************************************************ Ahhh!!! Remy is a police officer!? Like that will ever happen. Pft. Oh well, I tried to work the parts out right, but it'll all work out in the end.  
  
And now it's time for shout outs.drum roll.  
  
todd fan: thanks for reviewing. And you should really get the movie, and while you're at it, get the sequel too (Rush Hour 2). Personally I think Rush Hour 2 is lots better, but Rush Hour is great too. I will also do a parody of Rush Hour 2, but it will probably be awhile until that one is out. 


	4. Jamie gets kidnapped!

Hi, I'm back from outer space!!! And I changed my name!!! Amazing huh? Yeah, well, anyways, I'm finally getting the 4th chapter up, and it's the end of the first quarter at school. You know what that means? My schedule gets changed around, and I get put into the hard classes. Those evil people at school. Oh well, I'll guess I'll manage, but my update might be late and things like that. I'm sorry in advance. Anyways, on with shout outs or whatever you call them.  
  
Todd fan: Thanks for reviewing again. I really appreciate it. And you are the only person who has reviewed my last two chapters too! Amazing isn't it? Uh huh, well anyways, thanks for waitin'. Keep reading.  
  
Disclaimer: I like doing these. RP has been named "Unworthy to hold the title of owning the show: X-Men: Evolution and the movie Rush Hour." Yup, that's my title. Oh, yes, and I don't own Michael Jackson, Maria Carrie, or the song Beat It. Please read on and review. I like them reviews.  
  
************************************************************************ Now on with the fic:  
  
Actions  
  
Speaking  
  
Who's speaking  
  
(My usually sarcastic comments)  
  
and a new one: Song Lyrics ####################################################################  
  
RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY *$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$ RP: Arighty now people. Lets get this scene on the move. Lights?  
  
Spike: Affirmative!  
  
RP: Are we in the Army?  
  
Spike: Ummmm, no.  
  
RP: Well then, why are you using army talk?  
  
Spike: I don't know.  
  
RP: Why don't you know?  
  
Spike: I don't know.  
  
RP: O.o!!!  
  
Spike: Lights are a check RP.  
  
RP: Ok.ummm.Camera?  
  
Spike: Check!  
  
RP: Good. Now, ACTION!!! ********************************************************************* "Australian Consulate NEW ORLEANS". That's what more words on the screen say. (Whoever did this movie is obsessed with words on the screen.) The screen is showing the front of a huge building that is none other than the Australian Consulate in New Orleans. Then we hear Lance's voice.  
  
Lance: Jamie, come on, we're going to be late. Let's go.  
  
Now we see Jamie and Lance walking through the doors of the huge building. Suddenly, Kitty comes up behind them.  
  
Kitty: Excuse me? Telephone.Australia.  
  
Lance looks pissed and turns to Ray, who is standing next to the car, waiting to take Jamie to school. Lane sighs and kneels down to Jamie.  
  
Lance: Jamie, have a nice day at.  
  
Jamie: Will you be home after school?  
  
Lance: No, I am going to pick you up myself.  
  
Jamie: Who has just broken into a big smile. You pinky swear?  
  
Lance: Pinky swear.  
  
They hook pinkies and shake them. Then Jamie turns around and hops down the steps to where Ray opens the door for him.  
  
Jamie: Turns around and waves. Bye!  
  
Lance: Bye!  
  
Then Jamie gets into the car. Lance turns around, and picking up his briefcase in the process, he walks into the building. As he walks around the corner, Kitty is there waiting for him, phone in hand.  
  
Lance: On the phone. Hello, this is Alvers.  
  
Phone: No answer.  
  
Lance: Hello? Bangs buttons. Hello?  
  
Phone: No answer.  
  
Lance looks perplexed as he hangs up the phone.  
  
Scene switches to a busy highway with standstill traffic. We hear a radio playing Michael Jackson's "Beat It". The heavy traffic is scanned before finally settling on the car Jamie is in where Jamie is singing along with the radio.  
  
Jamie: Singing, and not with that bad of a voice.  
  
"They Told Him Don't You Ever Come Around Here  
  
Don't Wanna See Your Face, You Better Disappear  
  
The Fire's In Their Eyes And Their Words Are Really Clear  
  
So Beat It, Just Beat It  
  
You Better Run, You Better Do What You Can  
  
Don't Wanna See No Blood, Don't Be A Macho Man  
  
You Wanna Be Tough, Better Do What You Can  
  
So Beat It, But You Wanna Be Bad  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It  
  
No One Wants To Be Defeated  
  
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fighter  
  
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It"  
  
All the while that Jamie is singing, Bobby and Ray are supposed to be staring out the window and looking annoyed, but Bobby is fighting the urge to sing along too, and Ray was looking like Wolerine was torturing him to death. Anyways, they kept stealing glances a each other trying to figure out if the other also thought that Jamie was crazy, but finally, they both look at each other and silently agree on it.  
  
Scene switches again to outside the car. Jamie has stopped singing, but you can still here the song going on.  
  
"They're Out To Get You, Better Leave While You Can  
  
Don't Wanna Be A Boy, You Wanna Be A Man  
  
You Wanna Stay Alive, Better Do What You Can  
  
So Beat It, Just Beat It  
  
You Have To Show Them That You're Really Not Scared  
  
You're Playin' With Your Life, This Ain't No Truth Or Dare  
  
They'll Kick You, Then They Beat You,  
  
Then They'll Tell You It's Fair  
  
So Beat It, But You Wanna Be Bad  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It  
  
No One Wants To Be Defeated  
  
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fighter  
  
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It  
  
No One Wants To Be Defeated  
  
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fighter  
  
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It  
  
Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It  
  
No One Wants To Be Defeated  
  
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fighter  
  
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It  
  
No One Wants To Be Defeated  
  
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fighter  
  
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Who's Right  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It  
  
No One Wants To Be Defeated  
  
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fighter  
  
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It, Beat It  
  
No One Wants To Be Defeated  
  
Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fighter  
  
It Doesn't Matter Who's Wrong Or Right  
  
Just Beat It, Beat It  
  
Beat It, Beat It, Beat It"  
  
Outside the car, we see Facade posing as a policeman. (Actually he's not doing that bad of a job at it.) He is motioning all the cars to go to the right, but when he sees the car Jamie is in, he motions them to go to the left. Bobby turns the car to the left and they drive down a street, when suddenly, a police car with Pietro inside pulls in front of them with the siren on and stops. Pietro opens the door and gets out as Bobby rolls down the window.  
  
Bobby: Is there a problem officer?  
  
Pietro: No problem, just, rush hour.  
  
Then Pietro pulls out a gun and shoots both Bobby and Sam dead. (Don't worry, they're not really dead, and they will make other appearances throughout the story.) Jamie starts to scream REALLY loud. Pietro walks to the rear door, and opens it. He reaches in intent on grabbing Jamie, but Jamie is kicking and hitting Pietro with his Pokémon backpack.  
  
During the fight, Jamie's necklace comes off, and falls on the floor of the car. Jamie kicks Pietro in the face, picks up the necklace, and tries to get out the other door, but Pietro grabs his foot. Jamie swings the necklace at his face, and it hits him right down the side of his face. Starting at left eye and continuing down to his cheek, there is now a cut on Pietro's face. (Oh my gosh! Pietro's face has been hurt! It's a crisis!) Pietro recoils and Jamie takes the chance to escape out the other door.  
  
Jamie stars to run away from the car down the street. Behind Jamie, Sam comes behind him on a motorcycle, and while still moving, picks Jamie up and lays him across the seat of the motorcycle. Up the road a little bit, a white van stops right in front of Sam. Roberto gets out and picks up the struggling Jamie. Roberto then gets into the van with Jamie nicely tucked under his arm and closes the door.  
  
RP: Annnnnnnnnnd that's a wrap.  
  
Spike: Wow, that scene had a lot of action and violence.  
  
RP: Well, that's how the movie goes. Except instead of Michael Jackson it's a Maria Carrie song, but oh well this is not the real movie.  
  
Spike: I guess your right.  
  
RP: Anyways, next time on RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY, there will be more Remy! Be back in exactly.uh.I don't know when.  
  
Everyone: BYE!!! ************************************************************************ Thanks for reading, and please review. Oh yes, and I hope you have a good week. 


	5. Scott and Jason Plot!

Yeah!!! Another chapter is up!!! And this one is long. Very long. Oh well, good for you guys, but lots of work for me. But I get reviews-it all works out. Yeah!!! Go me!!! Oh, and this yesterday, I was watching Rush Hour 2 in the car (cause my bro wanted to) and I was cracking up the whole time, especially when they go into the clothing store. I was imagining the Evolution characters in the movie, and man was it funny. Anyways my sister thought I was crazy and told me to shuddup a bunch. Anyways just thought you might want to know. Please read and review.  
  
************************************************************************ Now on with the fic:  
  
Actions  
  
Speaking  
  
Who's speaking  
  
(My usually sarcastic comments)  
  
No song lyrics in this one, oh well. #################################################################### RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY *$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$ RP: Arggg!!! Who put a banana peel in the middle of the floor? If no one admits to the blame you all get to suffer another 2 years inside the TV.  
  
Bobby: I did it. I'm sorry, but you should have been watching out for it.  
  
RP: I am going to kill you- but first we will film this scene. Get ready everyone. It's Showtime. Lights?  
  
Spike: Check, RP.  
  
RP: Lights?  
  
Spike: That's also a check!  
  
RP: Camera?  
  
Sabertooth: Grrr, the camera is acting up again. Kicks the camera. Ok, it's good now.  
  
Spike: Check, too.  
  
RP: Action!!! ************************************************************************ Camera pans over a large building where they are setting up for the show of ancient Australian artifacts. Lance and Assistant Kitty are walking side by side discussing arrangements.  
  
Lance: Security is in place?  
  
Kitty: Yes.  
  
Lance: And you're sure all of the exhibits will be ready by this weekend?  
  
Kitty: Yes, sir. Your opening remarks are scheduled for 7:30.  
  
Scott and Mastermind walk up to Lance and Kitty dressed in suits.  
  
Scott: Excuse me, Consul Alvers? I'm Scott Summers with the Federal Bureau of investigation. This is Agent Wyngarde. (That's Mastermind's real last name) We need to speak with you in private, sir.  
  
Lance gives Kitty a troubled glace.  
  
Lance: Excuse me.  
  
The three of them walk off towards the car whispering quietly.  
  
Scene switches to a portrait of Lance, Jamie, and Motherly Kitty. It moves down to Lance sitting at a desk and Scott comes over and sits on the edge of the desk.  
  
Scott: I know this is a difficult time for you Consul, but I want you to know we're going to get your son back.  
  
Lance: Yes, but will you get him back alive?  
  
Scott: We have the best agents in the world in this house and on those streets.  
  
Lance rises from his chair and faces Scott.  
  
Lance: I would like one of my people to help.  
  
Scott: Let me assure you, Consul, the FBI considers this a top priority. We have plenty of people on the case.  
  
Lance: Mr. Summers, I am not an American. My son, he is not an American. (Who the hell cares?)  
  
Scott: I understand that sir, but.  
  
Lance: He is already on the plane. I trust you will treat him with as much courtesy as you have shown me.  
  
Scott shakes his head.  
  
Scott: Yes.  
  
Scene switches again to the inside of a police station, where Remy is in the middle of a crowed of random characters dressed up as police officers. He is holding a newspaper and telling everyone about the C-4 incident.  
  
Remy: Ten people just jumped out of the trunk. Remy started handling all of them. Just started slapping, throwing them everywhere. Then two cops came out of nowhere and messed everything up, but Remy regrouped. Remy had to save their life. It might be paper. Remy flips through the paper. It ain't in there, but anyway, Remy save their life and then he starts runnin' trying to get the bomb.  
  
Rogue comes up pushing through the crowd of people.  
  
Rogue: I can't believe you went without me.  
  
Remy: Hey, Remy'll talk to y'all later, all right. He'll tell you the best part after work.  
  
Everyone who was listening to the crap gets up to get back to work.  
  
Rogue: Ya know this is the reason nobody will work with you, Swam rat. Why you're the only one in the department without a partner.  
  
Remy gets up and follows Rogue to her desk.  
  
Remy: Rogue, look, first of all, if you want to go out on a date with Remy, then your going to have to wait on the list like all the other women, ok? Second of all, Remy works alone. He don't want no partner, he don't need no partner, and he ain't ever gonna have no partner. Did Kojak have a partner? (Who the hell is Kojak anyways?)  
  
Rogue: Yeah, the fat guy.  
  
Remy: Well he wasn't ever with him. Did Colombo have a partner?  
  
Rogue: Professor Xavier ordered me to go with you because you needed bomb squad backup, but once again, you screwed me, and you screwed yourself.  
  
Rogue sits down at her desk, and Remy sits on the corner of her desk.  
  
Remy: Look, Rogue, it's dangerous out there. It's safer for you right here behind the desk.  
  
Rogue stands up and faces Remy.  
  
Rogue: You know, we're supposed to be on the same team.  
  
Remy: Team? Rogue, this is the NOPD, we the most hated cops in all the free world. My own mama ashamed of me. She tells everybody Remy's a drug dealer. That ain't no team. This is a pit stop for me, Chere, Remy's on the verge of leaving all y'all suckers behind.  
  
Rogue: Actually you're on the verge of being suspended. Have a nice day.  
  
Rogue sits down again and Remy smirks. Then he looks back a Rogue.  
  
Remy: Rogue, somebody tell ya'll Remy was being suspended?  
  
Rogue just clears her throat in response.  
  
Remy: Quit playin', Chere. Sigh. Remy knows you playing. Rogue, somebody tell you Remy was being suspended?  
  
Scene switches again to the porch of the Australian Consul where Scott and Jason are plotting.  
  
Scott: This is a problem. That's all I need, some foreigner getting his head blown off, and turning this into an international incident. (More like burned off.)  
  
Jason: What can we do? He's on his way.  
  
Scott: Call the field office. Have them send over a rookie. We'll have him escort this guy around town for a couple of days, pretending to follow some leads, show him the sights, keep him out of the way.  
  
Jason: Scott, you sure you want to do that to one of our own men?  
  
Scott: What do you suggest?  
  
Jason: Well as long as we're going to humiliate someone, might as well be NOPD.  
  
Jason smirks. ************************************************************************ RP: Cut! Ok, now you're going to get it Bobby.  
  
Bobby: Wha. What. Help me!!! ************************************************************************ Well there you have it. Another chapter down. Next time, a cussing Xavier. Mwahahahah!!! Yeah, I know odd, but hey, it could happen. Anyways, this chapter did have Rogue and Mastermind. Yeah!!! Be back soon.  
  
Shout outs:  
  
Todd fan: I like your word. It's cool, and you had fellow reviewers this time. ^_^  
  
The Rogue Witch: I do try to make my fics good. And I did make the Pokémon backpack just for you. Feel honored and warm and happy.  
  
Pirate kit: Johnny Chan!!! And he will have awesome moves. Yeah. Go Pyro!!! And Jamie will be saved!!! ^_^  
  
11-02-03  
  
-RP 


	6. A Cussing Professor!

Hiya!!! I'm back again from the world of homework, evil teachers, and the inability to blow things up. Yes, I'm back from the world of school. Arg, those evil, evil people. They have rules for everything! Even turning homework in on time. Can you believe it? I think the teachers plot to have all the hard stuff due on the same day. But no matter, I shall be gone this weekend, but never fear, I shall be back next weekend. And, with a nice chapter full of more Remy. ^_^ Yeah!!! Well on Remy's part mostly. Anyways, you get a chapter this weekend full of a cussing Xavier!!! Wahoo. Lessee what else do I need to say? Oh right disclaimer.um.after next sentence. Read on, yo! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: Chibis shall attack the world of here. Wait, the world of X- Men: Evolution, and only then shall I not own anything. Now I own many things, but not Evolution or Rush Hour. Too bad, otherwise you people reading this would be able to help me with the Evolution series, and there would be more new episodes. Sigh. But no matter, I shall rule the world someday. ^_^  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Now on with the fic:  
  
Actions  
  
Speaking  
  
Who's speaking  
  
(My usually sarcastic comments)  
  
No song lyrics in this one, oh well.  
  
####################################################################  
  
RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$  
  
RP: Hey hey hey, people. QUIET ON THE SET!!!  
  
Bobby: Oh no! SHE'S GONNA KILL US!!! HELP!!!  
  
RP: I ain't gonna kill you guys. I just WANT YOU TO BE QUIET!!!  
  
Everyone: Gulp.  
  
RP: flipping through papers Okeydokey, now, lessee, heres the script, now where is that.ah.wait.no.ah.here it is.no.nope.damn.arg.gah.hell.fuck.shit.crapshidellies (RP has resorted to cussin'? the world is coming to an end as we know it!).no.arg.no. here it- no. arg.man.where is it.is it here.no.here.no.there.no.WHERE IS MY COOLIO NEAT DIRECTOR'S CHAIR?  
  
Spike: Um, RP?  
  
RP: WHAT?  
  
Spike: Well.um.ya see.um.well.um.you see.  
  
RP: SPIT IT OUT!!!  
  
Spike: Ok. Well, um, your, um, sitting in it.  
  
RP: looks around and below her. Oh, so I am. OK!!! On with the scene- wait. LIGHTS?  
  
Spike: Check!  
  
RP: CAMERA?  
  
Spike: Check!  
  
RP: ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The scene opens up to Professor Xavier sitting at his desk at the police office, talking on the phone.  
  
Prof. X: Well even if I had an extra man, who would want such a bullshit assignment? (Yeah! First cuss word out of his mouth, you know, the Prof. is actually a born cusser. Yes!!! He cusses all the time, but you never hear it cause they cut it out of the script. Amazing isn't it?)  
  
Prof. X: Well, it's a disgrace to me, it's a disgrace to my department, it's a disgrace to.  
  
Remy walks up to the door.  
  
Prof. X: Jason, I'm sending someone right over.  
  
He hangs up the phone, and gestures to Remy to come over. Remy walks in and sits down in a chair across from the professor.  
  
Remy: Professor, Remy knows you read the paper, but they lying. You know Remy wouldn't do nothing like that. They over exaggerate. You know the paper. They just want a story.  
  
Prof. X: Two officers were sot. One man lost a pinky.  
  
Remy: But didn't nobody die.  
  
Prof. X: You destroyed half a city block.  
  
Remy: That block was already messed up. (I see where he's coming from.)  
  
Prof. X: And you lost a lot of evidence.  
  
Remy: There's still a little bit left.  
  
Prof. X: What you did was dangerous, and completely against policy. And not only that, but you did a good job.  
  
Remy: What!?  
  
Prof. X: Everyone around here is so damn image-conscious. Everybody's so afraid of their own shadow. It's nice to meet a New Orleans' detective who's willing to lay it on the line.  
  
Remy: Professor, th-tha- that's the same way Remy feels, that's what Remy's been trying to tell everybody.  
  
Prof. X: See every so often, we have to let the general public know that we can still blow shit up.  
  
Remy: you goddamn right. That's the only way Remy works.  
  
Prof. X: Yeah.  
  
Remy: So that mean Remy ain't getting suspended?  
  
Prof. X: Suspended!? Are you kidding me?  
  
Remy: Remy don't even know why he said that. Why.  
  
Prof. X: I just got a call from the FBI. The 12-year-old son of an Australian diplomat was kidnapped this morning, and they want you on the case.  
  
Remy: FBI want Remy?  
  
Prof. X: That's right.  
  
Remy: Stop lyin'.  
  
Prof. X: I don't lie.  
  
Remy: Tell the truth.  
  
Prof. X: I'm telling the truth.  
  
Remy gets up and holds his hand out to the Professor.  
  
Remy: Thank you Professor. Whooooooooo!!!  
  
Prof. X: Congratulations, LeBeau. You are going to the show.  
  
Remy: Remy, appreciate it.  
  
Remy is about to walk out the door.  
  
Remy: Hey, Remy ain't gonna let you down, and Remy'll look out for you when Remy get to the top. Remy's gonna make you mayor.  
  
Prof. X: I'd rather you didn't.  
  
Remy walks out the door into the room full of other officers and starts to walk through it.  
  
Remy: To everyone in the room. Hey, listen up. If anybody need Remy, he'll be working a big, big case for the FBI.  
  
He reaches Rogue, who is looking at him with disbelief. Remy puts a hand on her shoulder, and then takes it off and starts to do his dance. And then, he dances out the door.  
  
Remy: Whooooooo!!!  
  
Rogue is left sitting on the desk, looking really pissed off. ************************************************************************ Yeah!!! No reviews. I'm sad. Does no one read this? Please review. Please. I really like to be told what the readers think, even if it's bad. Bye!!! And let the fork be with you!!! ^_^  
  
11-06-03  
  
-RP (your loving author ^_^) 


	7. G14 Classified!

Hi ya'll, sorry I haven't updated in a while, been busy with school, sports, all that jazz, but now its time for your entertainment. Please read on, and shout outs are at the bottom.  
  
Disclaimer: I shall own the world one day in the very far away future, but until then, I own nothing. ^_^  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Now on with the fic:  
  
Actions  
  
Speaking  
  
Who's speaking  
  
(My usually sarcastic comments)  
  
No song lyrics in this one, oh well.  
  
####################################################################  
  
RUSH HOUR THE X-MEN WAY  
  
*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$  
  
RP: Good morning men.and women. We need to get right to the point. Lets go. Lights?  
  
Spyke: Check!  
  
RP: Camera?  
  
Spyke: Um.Check!  
  
RP: Action!!!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Remy drives up in front of the Australian Consulate in his black convertible. He gets out and throws his keys to Kurt, who is standing beside Bobby in front of the door.  
  
Remy: Throws keys to Kurt. Take care of that for Remy, mon ami.  
  
Remy walks through the doors. He walks down to the end of the entrance hall and stops. He looks around.  
  
Mastermind (Jason) walks out of a door at one end of the hall. He sees Remy.  
  
Jason: LeBeau!?  
  
Remy looks at him, and walks over, just a Ray, with an earpiece on, walks in front of him.  
  
Remy: Taps Ray on the shoulder. Mon ami, Remy needs one of them earpieces immediately, all right?  
  
Remy and Jason shake hands.  
  
Remy: Hey, mon ami, what's up?  
  
Scene switches. (Here I go with the scene switches again.) The scene switches o Scott, who is going through papers on a desk. He is talking to someone.  
  
Scott: I want the consul's personal records cross-checked with that new list received from Interpol. See if you can make any matches or connections.  
  
Jason and Remy walk through the door to the office.  
  
Remy: Ok, mon amis, what do we got here? Have we checked the consul's personal records yet? Remy want to know who's he been talking with, Remy want to know who's he been dealing with. Ok, come on. Give Gambit the story.  
  
RP: Remy you cannot refer to yourself as 'Gambit' here. We are not doing battle or anything here. OK?  
  
Remy: Uh.sure petite. Anything.  
  
RP: Good. Now lets finish this scene.  
  
Remy: Give Remy the story. Any demands? Any fingerprints? Have we interviewed his staff?  
  
Scott: Wyngarde, who is this?  
  
Remy comes up to Scott and shakes his hand.  
  
Remy: Remy LeBeau, FBI.  
  
Jason: Scott, he's here for the special assignment  
  
Heavenly Chorus: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!  
  
Scott: Oh, well, I'm Agent-In-Charge Scott Summers. (He wishes.) It's good to have you on board. (Not.)  
  
Remy: I've been waiting a long time for this. You guys sure do take a long time to process an application.  
  
Scott: Well, LeBeau, your particular assignment is considered G-14 classified. Now, why don't you and I take a walk and I'll fill you in?  
  
Remy: Ok, Scott.  
  
Remy puts an arm around Scott, and they walk off screen.  
  
Jason turns around, and thinks outloud to himself.  
  
Jason: G-14 classified!? That's good.  
  
Outside on the patio, Remy and Scott are having an argument.  
  
Remy: You don't understand, this is my dream, Remy is very excited about working with the FBI. (Yeah, right.)  
  
Scott: I'm glad, listen, his name is Allerdyce, and the director considers this top priority.  
  
Remy: No disrespect mon ami, but he's only gonna get in Remy's way. Remy ain't used to having a partner. If Remy's handling the situation, he's gonna have to work alone.  
  
Scott: LeBeau, he is the situation.  
  
Remy: Whoa! This must be a misunderstanding, Remy was sent down here to for the big case, the kidnapping. The little girl?  
  
Scott: Forget the little girl. Your assignment is Allerdyce.  
  
Remy: Who is Allerdyce, and what kind of assignment is that.  
  
Scott: Allerdyce is a foreign detective and a friend of the consul's. It's your job to keep him out of trouble and away from danger. You understand?  
  
Remy: Yeah, Remy understands. You want Remy to baby-sit, but Remy don't do that. I came down here for the big assignment.  
  
Scott: Truth is, this is an FBI operation, and I don't need help from a NOPD cop, or some crazy crocodile cop. Got it?  
  
Remy: Whoa, hold it. Why don't you use one of your own men for this top priority case? What the hell is Remy supposed to do? Take him to the zoo?  
  
Scott: don't give a damn. (Gasp!!! Scott cussed!!!) I just don't want to see him or you till this thing is resolved. His plane arrives in an hour. We want to make a good impression LeBeau. It's his first trip to America.  
  
Scott walks away.  
  
Remy: Hey, this is bullshit. (Yeah, we know.)  
  
************************************************************************  
  
So how did you like it? Tell me. Review. Thanks for reading. ^_^  
  
************************************************************************  
  
And now for shout outs!!!  
  
Todd fan: I like that Professor too. ^_^  
  
SSJ Tokya: Thanks for all the reviews, and I think the characters all match up pretty well too. And don't worry, Ray and Bobby will be back. ^_^  
  
The Rogue Witch: I like to dance with Remy too. ^_^  
  
Rurouni Tyriel: I will try to fit X-23 in. And I have an idea for St. John. Thanks for the idea. ^_^  
  
DemonRogue13: Thanks for reviewing, and its hard work, but I try to make it work. ^_^ 


End file.
